^Kc£oi}cSotuietsof 


a  Yt  ct 


hJtln^i^ft 


y  that  vast  love  and  pas- 
sion wnicn  I   Dore  you. 
By  tnese  long  years  ox 
solitude  and  grief, 
•By  all  my  vows,  I  pray 
and  I  implore  you,      


A  ssuage  my  sorrows     _ 
with  a  SAveet  relief.     ^ 

Among  tnese  holy  \vomen,  sm  aDnorring, 

W' kose  snow-^vhite  thoughts  fly  ever  to  the  C  ross, 

I  am  a  sinner,  with  my  passions  warring, 

All  unrepentant,  grieving  for  my  loss.      


Ok,  not  tkrougk  zeal,  religion  or  devotion, 

Did  I  abandon  tkose  dear  patks  we  trod; 

I  follo"wed  only  one  supreme  emotion, 

I  took  tke  veil  for  Abelard — not  G  od ! 

O  vow^s,  O  convent,  tkougk  you  kave  estranged^ 

My  lover  s  keart,  bekold  my  own  unckanged_! 


mtunitvuhswm 


II 

itnm  tne  breast  tnese  sa-i 

cred  garments  cover,  j 

There  is  no  altar  of  celes- ' 

tial  Tire: 

I   am    a  woman  'weeping 

for  my  lover, 

Tne  victim  of  a  nunger- 

mg  heart  s  desire. 


Veiled  as  I  am,  bekold  in  \vnat  disorder 


k 


By  prayer  and  rite,  to  reach  some  tranquil  border, 
Wbere  virtues  blossom  and  where  passions  die. 


Your  ^vill  kas  plunged  me;  and  in  vain  I  try,    


But  'svben  I  tbink  tbe  conquest  gained,  some  tender] 


And  radiant  memory  rises  from  tbe  past; 


Again  to  tbose  s^veet  transports  I  surrender; 

Remembered  kisses  feed  me  wbile  I  fast.  

Tbougb  lost  my  lover,  still  my  love  endures; 
ibougb  sworn  to  God,  my  life  is  wboUy  yours. 


m^^t^^b^m^^i^jmm^MiPMMA 


ik 


IV 


now  then  tne  anguish  of 
my  sad  condition,  _ 

Ana  Dreak  the  silence  or 

j  unending  days; 

I  Appease  me  "with  one  sen- 


tence of  contrition. 

For  that  command  wnicn 

doomed  me  to  tn 


lese  ways. 


am  your  wife.     J^^spi^^  my  sacred  calling. 


Despite  my  vo'ws,  my  consecrated  life. 
Despite  tke  fate  so  tragic  and  appalling^ 


Ttat  wrecked  two  hearts,  yet  still  I  am  your  wife] 

May  you  not,  then,  in  pity  for  my  sorrow, 

Permit  me  once  to  look  upon  your  face? 

Or,  that  denied,  mayJL  not  comfort  torrow 

y  your  discourses  on 


B 


tk 


e  means 


of  g 


race  ? 


You  cast  your  pearls  before  unheeding  s^\^ine:     _^ 


Would  you  save  souls?  Tlien,At)elard,  save  mine. 


tegjotat  to  Abtmita  w 


I  in  those  n 


ose  nours  when  sou 


and  body  mated 


I  n  that  wild  passion^svnicli 


may  not  endure- 


I  f  m  those  n 


ours  so 


fer- 


vent  and  so  fated. 


1  loved  you  with  emotions 


not  all  pure. 


Yet  even  then  tne  mortal  man  "was  never 


So  dear  as  "was  the  grandeur  of  his  heart. 


A.  nd  no"w  I  love  you,  and  snail  love  forever. 


T  tough  earthly  joys  no  more  may  play  tneir  part 
Since  in  tte  cloister  I  am  shut  w^itn  reason. 


Persuade  me  witt  devotion  to  remain. 


In  our  communion  there  can  lurk  no  treason; 


You  caused  my  sorrows,  no"w  relieve  my  pain. 
At  your  command  1  chose  this  nated  lot: 


Console  me  sometimes  "witn  a  spoken  thought. 


y  all  my  cnains,  my  bur- 
dens and  my  fetters, 
I  plead  Avith  you  to  ease 
their  galling  weignt. 
Ana   witn  tne    soothing 
solace  OT  your  letters. 
To  teacn  me  resignation 
to  my  Tate. 


Since  you  no  more  may  breathe  love  s  fervent  story, 
I  Tv^ould  be  bride  of  teaven.     Ot,  tell  me  ho^w! 

A'wake  m  me  an  ardor  for  that  glory, 

Tlie  love  divine,  so  lacking  m  me  now! 


As  once  your  songs  related  all  love  s  pleasures^ 
Relate  to  me  tke  rapture  of  your  faitn. 


Unlock  tke  storetouse  of  your  new-found  treasures. 
And  lend  a  radiance  to  my  living  death. 


Ot,  ttink  of  me,  and  kelp  me  tkrougk  the  years! 
Adieu! — ^I  blot  tkis  message  witk  my  tears. 


xiftinmwTmmm 


VII 

no"wing  tne  years  or  our 
aelignt  Avere  past. 
And  tnose  seauctive  days 
no  more  could  lure, 
I  sougtt  religion  s  fetters 
i  to  make  last 
Tke     sinful     keart    that 
purposed  to  be  pure 


In  tkis  seclusion,  to  conceal  my  shame: 


L* 


In  tkis  asylum,  to  forget.     Alas!  

Tke  very  silence  skouts  aloud  your  name: 
Tkrougk  every  sunkeam  does  your  radiance  pass. 

I  fled,  to  leave  your  image  far  kekmd, 

I  pictured  you  tke  enemy  of  kope,        

Yet  still  I  seek  you,  seek  you  in  my  mind, 

And  down  tke  aisles  of  memory  I  grope^ 

I  kate,  I  love,  I  pray,  and  I  despair, 

I  fclame  myself,  and  grief  is  everywkerc^ 


Xhe  habit  of  tne  penitent  I  wear. 


ihe  altars  Avhere  I  grovel  bring  no  peace; 


God  gives  not  heed  nor  answer  to  my  prayer. 


B 


ecause 


tke  ih 


Ltki 


ames  -within  me  do  not  cease: 


They  are  but  hid  -with  asnes,  and  1  lack 


Tlie  strengtk  to  flood  tnem  witn  a  grace  divine. 


For  memory  forever  drags  me  back 


And  bids  me  -worskip  at  the  olden  snrine. 
Your  image  rises,  shrouded  m  its  veil. 


And  all  my  resolutions  droop  and  fail. 


^ IX 

looked    into    tne     heaven 

of  your  eyes,  

And  dared  tne  flames  ox 
tell:  I  keard  you  speak^_ 
And  strove  no  longer  to 
te  strong  and  wise— - 


E  artVs  rapture  lay  m  be- 
ing fond  and  weak. 


Ot,  paradox!  ttat  virtue  like  your  own. 


To  guilty  skame  transformed  a  koly  life. 
And  tte  entrancing  music  of  your  tone 
Changed  peaceful  tarmonies  to  jarring  strife^ 
Fwould  forget,  and  tkink  tkat  you  forgot. 


Our  wild  atandon  and  tte  sinful  ttrall 
^stolen  tours  of  tliss.    O  t,  tid  me  not 
Tte  memory  of  ttosc  vanisted  days  recall 
WtJe  you  rememter,  tow  canl   forget? 


Or  tope  8  star  dawn,  till  passion  s  sun  k as  set? 


auMiu^ttteii 


Your  constancy  gives  food  to  vain  desires 


And  your  affection  adds  to  my  offense; 


You  do  but  pour  on  recollection  s  fires 


X 


ay 


not  f  ( 


tk 


or  me  tnose  sacre( 


vows  you 


took. 


And  your  vocation  rutk- 


lessl 


Sly  protane 


fi 


buck     blaspnemies     Cjod 


'Will  not  o  erlook. 


jNor  grant  salvation  till 


your  passions  ^vane. 


Destructive  fuel,  of  tumultuous  sense. 


C  onvmced  of  sin,  of  sin  1  am  not  cured; 


Tke  mind  repels  it,  Lut  tke  keart  invites. 


3k,  give  not  tken  fresk  v^oes  to  ke  endured. 


3y  new  recitals  of  our  old  deligkts! 


faint  keneatk  tke  fcurdens  tkat  1  k 


Witkout  tke  increased  weigkt  of  your  despair. 


ear. 


'n 


mmat^in  tbtmimfz 


XL_ 

nis    mortal    love,    when 

dwelt  upon  witn  joy,      _ 

The  love  or  Goa  may  not 

a^DLmnilate. 

Ok,  would  you  w^itn  old 

memories  destroy 


My  piety,  in  its  incipient^ 


state? 


My  vows  to  God  grow  feeble,  in  the  "war^ 


With  tkougkts  of  you,  and  Duty  j  voices  Jie^ 

Unans^^ered,  down  my  soul  s  dark  corridor, 

Wkile  in  my^keart  is  passion  s  desperate  cry._ 
And  can  you  kear  confessions  suck  as  tkese, 


c 


And  tkrust  your  love  ketwecn  my  God  and  me? 


Witkdraw  yourself,  unkappy   t  eloise. 


Be  Heaven  s  alone,  and  let  my  life  go  free. 


Drain  sorrow's  ckalice,  kravely  take  your  cross; 


To  win  lack  God,  lies  tkrougk  tke  creature's  loss 


ou  call  me  Father;  T  Tvas 
parricide : 


You  call  me  Master;   it 
was  sin  I  taught; 


You   call    me    Husband, 
yet  you  -were  my  bride 
But  after  blight  and  ruin 
nao.  been  ^vrougnt. 


Blot  out  tnose  ■words,  and  suDstitute  instead. 


Tne  darkest  titles  wounded  pride  can  name. 


Tnrougn  me  your  nonor  and  your  peace  lie  dead; 


I  took  your  virtue,  and  i  gave  you  shame. 


Not  we  alone  m  passion's  pit  v^ere  hurled; 
Because  we  failed,  stall  otker  lives  be  -weak? 


Our  follies  liave  set  standards  for  the  world; 
Of  our  wild  amours  shall  tne  centuries  speak. 


For  my  salvation  let  your  tears  be  spent; 
Advance  in  virtue,  and  repent!  repent! 


^^'Vti 


•r  yx  v./  •!■  ^Cf  -?  •'    v«^     :  "   ' 


5te 


mmm 


HMeiotae  to  Atteiags  [^ 


XIII 

y  fortune  has  been  always 
in  extremes. 
!  Fate  loaded  me  Avitli   fa- 
vors, and  witk  woe; 
Sne  lulled  me  in  tke  lap 
of  tender  dreams, 
Tnen  woke  me  witk  tke 
anguisn  of  a  blow. 


She  flung  her  choicest  blessings  at  my  feet. 


Tnen  took  tnem  all,  m  taking  you  a^vay: 


A  nd  m  proportion  as  tbe  past  was  s^sveet. 


So  IS  tne  bitter  of  my  life  to-day. 


Tbe  envied  of  all  ^vomen,  tbrougn  your  love 
My  sorrows  claim  compassion  from  tbem  all; 


I  was  but  lifted  to  fair  beigbts  above. 


Tbat  men  and  angels  migbt  bebold  my  fall. 


Now  comes  tke  last  affliction  from  fate  s  store — 
I  skall  bekold  my  Abelard  no  more!  


i»mnittmjmiWLt 


XIV 

ot  mine  tne  right  to  mur- 
mur or  complain. 
For  I  alone  am  your  mis- 
fortune s  cause. 
1  am  tne   portal  to  your 
nouse  or  pain; 
For    lieloise    you   broke 
Ood  s  noly  la"ws. 

I  mesnea  your  greatness  in  my  beauty  s  snare; 

You  found  destruction,  gazing  in  my  face; 


And  Samson  s  fall  and  Solomon  s  despair 


Are  lived  again  in  Abclard  s  disgrace. 


Yet  grant  me  tkis  poor  comfort,  for  my  dole — 
I  souglit  not,  like  Delilak,  to  destroy^ 


Mine  was  tne  passion-blindcd  woman  s  role 

Wno  gave  her  virtue  for  her  lover  s  joy. 


Convinced  of  love,  I  hastened  to  pour  out 


Life  s  dearest  treasures,  tnat  you  might  not  doubt. 


mjm.%^h&M^^^ '■ 


made  no  use  of  pretext  or 

derense; 

1   valuea  virtue,  only  to 

bestow; 

Like  Tvnite,   nign    noon- 

tiae,  glaring  ana  intense. 

Love  drownea  tne  w^orlo. 

or  reason  in  its  glow. 


To  be  beloved  by  Abelard — tkat  tbougbt^ 
Absorbed  all  otber  purposes  lite  flame. 


Sucb  bavoc  passion  in  my  bosom  ^vrougnt^ 

Ibanisbed  bonor,  and  invited  sbame.    

I  tbrust  out  duty,  and  installed  desire; 

I  aimed  at  notbing  but  possessing  you. 


Ci,  God,  could  I  but  quencb  witb  tears  tbe  fire 

Of  memory  of  tbose  deligbts  ^ve  knew! 

G)uld  I  forget,  or  grieve  for  wbat  was  done, 

Divine  forgiveness  migbt  be  sougbt,  and  won. 


XVI 

give  out  lip-repentance  for 

my  flins, 

Ana  no  contrition  to  my 

soul  IS  known; 

Eacli 


day 

memory  oegi 


my 


la"wl 


a'w^iess 


ins 


Recounting  pleasures  that 


were  once  our  o^vn. 


Eack  niglit  I  sec  my  Abelarci  in  dreams. 


Entranced  witt  love,  we  turn  away  from  bool 


And  all  of  wisdom  in  your  utterance  seems. 


And  all  of  rapture  in  your  ^vords  and  looks. 


And  I  remember  ttat  dear  place  and  spot 


^^here  first  your  passion  spoke  and  kindled  mine. 


Wkat  tide  of  time  can  wasli  away,  or  blot 


Suck  memories  from  tke  keart?    Has  love  divine. 


And  your  misfortune,  brougkt  you  into  pcacc^ 


Wkile  I  still  strive  \vitk  storms  tkat  never  cease? ! 


XVII 

o  you,  m  sluiriDer,  some- 
times stretck  your  arms 
To     clasp     the     yielding 
Torm  or  rieloise? 
Do  you   recall  my  kisses 
and  my  charms? 
Or  nave  those   pleasures 
lost  tneir  power  to  please? 
itnm  these  -w^alls,  I  'weep  and  ever  weep. 
1  nis  cloister  ecnoes  my  rebellious  cries: 
W  om  out  witn  sorro'w  I  relive  m  sleep 
1  he  unabating  grief  tnat  never  dies. 


Snail  Abelard,  the  all-entrancing  tneme. 
Consume  the  soul  tnat  ougnt  to  seek  '  :ioa  s  throne? 
How  can  1  nope  the  PoAver  I  so  blaspheme. 
Will  grant  me  pardon,  or  my  sins  condone? 

'h,  you  whose  face  I  never  more  may  see. 
Have  pity  on  my  pligbt,  and  pray  for  me! 


aaiMa»ii  tt  mtiia&t^ 


XIX 


rite    mc  no    more.     Bc- 


etcw  yourself  on  G  od. 
1  our  letters  stir  me  witn 
a  deep  unrest. 


Old  half-liealed  wounda 
reopen  in  my  breast. 


A  nd  tlood-drops  stain  the 
young  unsullica  sod 


\Vliere  -walked  the  feet  of  F  aith,  repentance-sKod. 


Again,  in  dreams,  is  pleasure's  pathway  trod. 


My  prayerful  tho'ts  swerve  in  their  upward  quest^ 
And  carnal  love  ia  once  again  their  guest— 


'Write  me  no  more;  you  draw  me  hack  to  earth. 


Moved  hy  your  words,  I  lose  the  hetter  way. 


My  purpose  falters,  and  my  courage  faints. 


Oh,  crush  each  lawless  impulse  at  its  hirth, 

■■  :: «      1  ••   t.1.    1  " 


Learn  the  large  meaning  of  the  word  ^'ohey. 


And  drain  the  hitter  chalice  of  the  saints. 


^p'k^s^^^M.^m^ 


But  wken  aeatk  calls  our  purged  souls  from  eartn. 
On,  may  your  senseless  clay  rest  close  to  mine! 
Adieu!  adieu!  and  write  no  more  to  me. 


XX 


ro'^v 


rite  me  no  more, 
diligent  in  prayer; 
Let  G  od,  not  Abelard,  te 
your  concern. 


W^nen  mem  ries  torture, 
and  \vnen  passions  bum. 
Look  to   the  Cross,  that 
refuge  of  despair; 


Its  outstretcned  arms  are  ever  waiting  there. 
Immortal  life  is  something  we  must  earn 
By  conquest  of  the  baser  self.      On,  turn 

our  tnoughtsfrom  earth,  to  worlds  divinely  fair. 


Let  silence  give  our  sorrowing  love  true  wortn. 
To  love  you,  means  to  leave  you  witn  no  sign: 
To  love  me,  means  to  let  my  life  go  free. 


toi!! 


m0m 


XXI 

t  iastCjoa  snows  me  proo^ 

or  11  IS  regard, 

x\.na  tranquil  joys  replace 

gfriei  s  uncontrol. 

Desire  no  longer  riots  m 

_my  soul; 

Gone   are   trie   dreams  or 

love  and  Abelard. 


My  noly  meditations  are  not  scarred 


By  scalding  tears  from  memory  s  brimming  boAvl; 


^Nfc^  thougnts  fly  unimpeded  to  the  goal 

Detnroned  your  image  and  forever  barred. 


On^  let  my  infidelity  proclaim 


To  all  the  -world  no-w  fickle  love  can  change! 


A  rival  rules  tke  keart  once  deemed  so  true. 


Yet,  ere  you  think  me  sunk  in  utter  sname. 


Hear  my  aisclosure  of  what  seems  so  strange 


'Tia  God  alone  takes  Heloise  from  you. 


J^y  recollection^  3oft,  8e~ 
auctive  art. 


-«-  ne    guilty    fondness  of 

your  suffering  neart; 

i  o  fate  s  decree  my  bro- 
ken spirit  bows. 

Itkink  of  you  no  longer  as  tne  spouse, 

Bit  as  tlie  f atker,  set  from  men  apart, 

Iisensible  to  passion  s  poison  dart,         

Tie  lioly  steward  m   God  s  sacred  house.  

^NV  peace  was  torn  of  anguish,  but  it  lives. 


phenix  risen 


from  love  s  funeral  pyrC; 


lie  patk  to   ELty  is  tke  patk  to   Hiss:    

itere  is  no  pleasure  save  Avkat  virtue  gives. 

Aid  yet — again  to  toucK  tkat  moutn  of  fire, 

lO  lose  tke  world,  and  find  it,  in  your  kiss! 


RETURN  TO  the  circulation  desk  of  any 
University  of  California  Library 
or  to  the 
NORTHERN  REGIONAL  LIBRARY  FACILITY 
BIdg.  400,  Richmond  Field  Station 
University  of  California 
Richmond,  CA  94804-4698 


ALL  BOOKS  MAY  BE  RECALLED  AFTER  7  DAYS 

•  2-month  loans  may  be  renewed  by  calling 
(510)642-6753 

•  1-year  loans  may  be  recharged  by  bringing 
books  to  NRLF 

•  Renewals  and  recharges  may  be  made  4 
days  prior  to  due  date. 


DUE  AS  STAMPED  BELOW 


-^^N 1  fi  ?npt 


12,000(11/95) 


LD  21-20m-5, '39 (9269s 


305^44 


U  A 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  LIBRARY 


